Fw: [AllahoAkbarGroup] Raping With Your Eyes ...

-------Original Message-------   From: Adil ibn Manzoor Khan Date: 11/20/11 14:44:26 Subject: [AllahoAkbarGroup] Raping With Your Eyes ...     In the name of Allah, the Most-Merciful, the All-Compassionate   "May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon You"   Praise be to Allaah, we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our own souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.      Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam 'ala Rasulillah As-Salaam Alaikum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu Raping With Your Eyes ... by Adil ibn Manzoor Khan with inputs by Asma bint Saeed Are you one of those who check out ladies on the streets , bus , train or anywhere you see them ? You check her out and in a flash you can tell all about her size and shape. You can also tell color of her lipstick , how her hair was done and what clothes she was wearing , etc ,etc .... Do you end up saying "wow"... In modern western terms this is called : Checking her out. Its also called : Raping with the Eyes. Rape : The crime of forcing another person to submit to sex acts, especially sexual intercourse But hey , we did not do anything. We did not even touched or talked with her. How could i have "raped" her with my eyes ? For that ask yourself say... Did not you look at places where you are not allowed to look at non-mehram women ? Somewhere in your mind , you got a naughty thought about her. All said and done.... let us now look from ladies point of view ? Well "THEY DO NOT LIKE IT AT ALL" . Jareer ibn Abdullaah said: "I asked the Messenger of Allaah (pbuh) about an accidental glance at a woman. He commanded me to turn my gaze away." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, who said: This is a saheeh hasan hadeeth. See al-Sunan, 2700). Commenting on this hadeeth, al-Mubaarakpoori said: "Accidental" means that his gaze fell on a non-mahram woman unintentionally. "He commanded me to turn my gaze away" means that we are not to look a second time, because the first glance was not by choice and would be forgiven, but any further glances would be counted as sin, and we should heed the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things)…" [al-Noor 24:30]" The Messenger of Allaah (pbuh) said: "O Ali, do not follow a glance with another, for you will be forgiven for the first, but not for the second." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 2701; see Saheeh al-Jaami, 7953) And if you think that Allah swt does not know where you were looking and what thought went through your mind ? Allah says, "Allah knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the breasts conceal." (Surah Ghafir 40:19). "The adultery of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden thing), the adultery of the tongue is the talk,… and the inner self wishes and desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it." [Sahih Al-Bukhari (no. 6612), Muslim (no. 2657), Ahmed (2/276)]. Misconception among men We are allowed to look (meaning stare/gaze) at non-muslims women. We are allowed to look at the exposed parts of the ladies those who have exposed themselves. We are ONLY NOT allowed look at muslim girls & it is a sin to look (meaning to stare/gaze) at a muslim lady wearing burkha/hijab. But hey , even if it is sin , it is a minor sin. The prophet (pbuh) has said "Beware of small sins because small sins when accumulated turn in to a big fire..." You must have all heard this hadith : Ibn Abbas narrated that the Messenger of Allah (saws) passed by two graves and said, "One of them is (getting punishment in the grave) for not cleaning himself after urine...." Related by  Bukhari and Muslim. So when the person goes through such a severe punishment for "small sins"... then you be rest assured that your these so called "small sins" (done on daily basis) have turned in a big heap of fire. One of the fitnahs (temptations) with which we are tested is the fitnah of women, as the Prophet (pbuh) said: "I have not left behind me any fitnah (temptation) more harmful to men than women." What needs to be done. 1 – Faith in Allaah. Faith in Allaah and fear of Allaah provide a safety valve and protect a person against committing haraam actions and following his own whims and desires. If the believer becomes aware that Allaah is always watching and if he ponders the meanings of His names and attributes, such as the All-Knowing, the All-Hearing, the All-Seeing, the Watchful, the Reckoner, the Preserver, the All-Encompassing, that will generate fear of Him in secret and in public, and will put a stop to disobedience towards Allaah, and will reduce the strength of desire that leads many people to commit haraam actions.   2 – Lowering the gaze and avoiding looking at haraam things The gaze can generate bad thoughts in the heart, which then lead to ideas and then to desires, then to will and resolve, and then inevitably to doing haraam things. Think about the meaning of this verse which makes a connection between the first steps towards haraam and the end result. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):  "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All-Aware of what they do" [al-Noor 24:30] 3 – Warding off evil thoughts Bad thoughts pose a danger to the heart… If a person dwells on them and does not push them away, they will develop into an idea, then into will and resolve, then this will inevitably lead to haraam actions.  Beware of dwelling on passing thoughts; rather what you must do is to ward them off and crowd them out with good thoughts. The treatment, then, is to ward off these passing thoughts and keep yourself busy with beneficial thoughts. 4 – Marriage It was narrated that Abd-Allaah ibn Masood said: The Prophet (pbuh) said: "O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, and whoever cannot, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him." Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065. 5 – Fasting – because of the hadeeth quoted above, in which it says, "…and whoever cannot, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him." Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065.  The less a person eats, the weaker his desire becomes, and the weaker his desire is, the less sins he commits. 6 – Keeping away from bad companions. The Prophet (pbuh) said: "A man will follow the way of his close friends, so let each one of you look at who he takes as a close friend." Narrated by Abu Dawood, 8433; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 4046. What annoys the Shaitaan the most ? When the man stops looking at the girls And shows respect to his Lord.   Permission is granted to circulate among private individuals and groups, to post on Internet sites and to publish in full text and subject title in not-for-profit publications.    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LoveIslam_LiveIslam/ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Seekers-Of-Islam/   .

Fw: [AllahoAkbarGroup] 12 Tips for a Happy Marriage Life

-------Original Message-------   From: Adil ibn Manzoor Khan Date: 11/16/11 23:38:30 Subject: [AllahoAkbarGroup] 12 Tips for a Happy Marriage Life     In the name of Allah, the Most-Merciful, the All-Compassionate   "May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon You"   Praise be to Allaah, we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our own souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.      Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam 'ala Rasulillah As-Salaam Alaikum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu   Twelve Important Tips for a Happy Marriage Life 1) Enter the Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often Both spouses should enter the marriage with the pure intention of pleasing Allah, in order to receive His grace and blessings. The marriage itself, then, becomes an act of worship, and one for which both spouses will be rewarded. Allah will be pleased with them, and this will be the most critical element in ensuring peace, stability and happiness throughout the marital life.  Realize that when an act of worship is continued over a long period of time, it becomes necessary to renew ones intention often to remain on the correct path and to obtain the most benefit. 2) Remember that Your Spouse is also someones Brother or Sister in Islam Too often Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity, but then behave in a very different manner when it comes to their own spouses. Muslims should always remember that ones spouse is also another brother or sister in Islam and that the rights and duties that apply to the general brotherhood (sisterhood) of Islam, should also form the basis of the marital relationship. Obviously, a spouse has rights beyond these, but there should be a clear understanding of the rights of brotherhood (sisterhood) and adherence to these principles. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said: None of you are true believers until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself. [Bukhari,2/12] 3) Do Not Hold Unrealistic Expectations Before marriage, people often have unrealistic ideas about their spouse-to-be, and expect perfection in all aspects. This rarely, if ever, plays out in reality, and can lead to unnecessary problems and concerns. We should recall that Allah created humans as imperfect beings, which means that many mistakes will be made throughout a lifetime. By turning the table and expecting imperfection, we will be pleasantly surprised and pleased when we discover our spouse is much more than we ever hoped for. This, in turn, leads to contentment within the marriage. 4) Focus on the Best in Your Spouse Since no one is endowed with all of the best qualities, emphasis should be placed on the positive qualities that a spouse possesses. Express encouragement, praise, and gratitude on a regular basis, to strengthen these qualities and to encourage developing others.  Make an attempt to overlook or ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet (pbuh) said, "A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing." [Muslim, 8/3469] 5) Be Your Mates Best Friend Try to think of what a best friend means and be one to your spouse. This may mean sharing interests, experiences, dreams, failures and upsets. It may involve understanding a spouse's likes and dislikes and attempting to please him or her in any way possible. A best friend is also usually someone that can be confided to trusted, and relied upon. A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would want to keep throughout life. 6) Spend Quality Time Together It is not enough to share meals, chores and small talk together. Spouses should also find time to focus on strengthening the relationship.Often couples get busy with their own separate tasks and forget about working on one of the most important elements in life. Quality time may be anything from having a quiet, profound conversation to going for a nice long nature walk, to sharing a special hobby or project. Both spouses should enjoy the particular option they choose and distractions should be kept to a minimum. The Prophet (pbuh) used to race with his wife , Aisha .Sometimes she won, and sometimes he won. Remember, he was in his fifties at the time!–how many of us think we are to "mature" to do something enjoyable that can also, with a proper intention, count as an act of worship and ring in piles of good deeds? read more: When was the Last Time you Raced with your Wife ? http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LoveIslam_LiveIslam/message/859 7) Express Feelings Often This seems like a very "Western" concept and one that some people may struggle with, but it is important to be open and honest about one's feelings,both positive and negative. The lines of communication should always be open and any concerns should be brought to the attention of the other spouse as soon as they arise. The rationale of this is that, what begins as a simple concern, may grow into a major problem if it is not addressed quickly and properly. The "silent treatment" never fixes anything in the long-term. 8) Admit to Mistakes and ask for Forgiveness Just as we ask Allah to forgive us when we make mistakes, we should also ask our spouses to forgive us when we make mistakes.  The stronger person is the one who can admit when he or she is wrong, request pardon from the other, and work hard to improve his/her aspects that are in need of change. When a person is unwilling to do this, there will be little growth and development in the marriage. 9) Never Bring Up Past Mistakes It can be very hurting for another person to be reminded of past mistakes. In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. One may remember errors that were made so that they are not repeated, but this should not be done excessively. Certainly, as humans, we are not in the position to judge another person. Advice may be given, but in the proper manner and with the best of intentions and etiquette. 10) Surprise Each Other at Times This may entail bringing home a small gift or flowers, preparing a special meal, dressing up and beautifying oneself (this is not only for women), or sending a secret note in a lunch-box. A little imagination goes a long way here. The idea is to spice up the marriage and avoid getting into a dull routine that may negatively impact the marriage.   11) Cultivate a Sense of Humour Joke with your spouse. This particular aspect goes a long way in preventing arguments and brightening the atmosphere of the home. Life is a constant stream of challenges and tests, and to approach it in a light-hearted manner helps make the journey smoother and more enjoyable. You may also find that your spouse enjoys this characteristic, and looks forward to spending time with you because of it. In fact, the Prophet (pbuh) himself joked with his wives, as well as with companions (though without lying). 12) Quick Tips for Discussions and Disagreements Begin with the intention to resolve the issue. If both spouses have this intention and plan to consult together, it is more likely that there will be a successful resolution. Remember that it takes two to quarrel. If only one person chooses not to argue, there will be no argument. Generally, the one who is wrong does most of the talking. Both spouses should not be angry at the same time. If one of the spouses becomes upset, it is best if the other tries to remain calm and collected. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Of course, house fires do not occur very frequently; yelling should occur at about the same rate. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. This is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage and should be avoided as much as possible. This allows hurt feelings and thoughts to linger and generally exacerbates the problem. If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate. Do not focus on winning yourself; this is the main reason that discussions tend to become heated. Remember your house in Paradise! The Prophet (pbuh) said: I guarantee a house in the surroundings [suburbs] of Paradise for a man who avoids quarreling even if he were in the right, a house in the middle of Paradise for a man who avoids lying even if he were joking, and a house in the upper part of Paradise for a man who made his character good.[Abu Dawud, 41/4782] By Dr. Aisha Hamdan source : waytonikah.com       Permission is granted to circulate among private individuals and groups, to post on Internet sites and to publish in full text and subject title in not-for-profit publications.       http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LoveIslam_LiveIslam/ __._,_.___       . __,_._,___

Fw: [AllahoAkbarGroup] How To Receive Hajjis ?

-------Original Message-------   From: Adil ibn Manzoor Khan Date: 11/12/11 17:38:21 Subject: [AllahoAkbarGroup] How To Receive Hajjis ?     In the name of Allah, the Most-Merciful, the All-Compassionate   "May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon You"   Praise be to Allaah, we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our own souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.      Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam 'ala Rasulillah As-Salaam Alaikum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu       How To Receive Hajjis ?     On welcoming hajjis home, it is mustahab (commendable) to congratulate them and make a banquet for them. But decorating with lights, firing gunshots, and hanging welcoming banners on walls are all forms of extravagance and showing off that should be avoided. Basically, there is nothing wrong in showing happiness for the safe arrival of hajjis when receiving them, yet it should be done without wasting money because this was not the practice of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). Allah accepts acts of worship when done with sincerity, which is achieved by avoiding all aspects of showing off. My concern is that such acts like putting up banners, colored lights, and firing gunshots as a welcoming gesture might be counted as a form of extravagance and showing off; that is why I suggest that they should be avoided. In this regard Allah says: (O ye who believe! Render not vain your almsgiving by reproach and injury, like him who spendeth his wealth only to be seen of men and believeth not in Allah and the Last Day. His likeness is as the likeness of a rock whereon is dust of earth; a rainstorm smiteth it, leaving it smooth and bare.) (Al-Baqarah 2: 264) The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "He who lets the people hear of his good deeds intentionally, to win their praise, Allah will let the people know his real intention (on the Day of Resurrection), and he who shows off, Allah will disgrace." (Al-Bukhari and Muslim). Besides, it is unlawful to slaughter sheep and make a hajji pass over it because slaughtering should be dedicated only for the sake of Allah. Almighty Allah says: (Say: Lo! My worship and my sacrifice and my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the Worlds.) (Al-Anam 6: 162) Receiving people coming from Hajj should be done without exaggeration. There is nothing wrong in using phrases like "May Allah accept your Hajj, grant you forgiveness, and reward you for your efforts." In another hadith the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "O Allah! Forgive pilgrims and those for whom pilgrims have sought forgiveness from You." There is nothing wrong if the relatives of hajjis prepare a banquet for them and those who come to congratulate them. Generally speaking, it is preferable to congratulate a pilgrim on his safe arrival and on performing Hajj, for this is an act of supplication of a Muslim to his Muslim brother. Besides, it is a token of affection and showing mercy and sympathy to one another. In the Quran, we read a verse congratulating the believers on the blessings they have in Paradise. Almighty Allah says: ((And it is said unto them): Eat and drink in health (as a reward) for what ye used to do.) (At-Tur 52: 19). On congratulating one another, people should use phrases and actions that create happiness and conform with the commands of Allah and the teachings of His Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). Occasions like marriage, birth of a child, Eid, return from a journey, Hajj, or Umrah, getting rid of distress are all occasions that need congratulations.     Permission is granted to circulate among private individuals and groups, to post on Internet sites and to publish in full text and subject title in not-for-profit publications.   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LoveIslam_LiveIslam/   . __,_._,___

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