From: Adil ibn Manzoor Khan
Date: 30-12-2012 02:18:38 PM
Subject: [AllahoAkbarGroup] Guarding Your Husband's Honor as a Muslim Wife
"May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon You"
Praise be to Allaah, we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our own souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam 'ala Rasulillah
As-Salaam Alaikum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu
Guarding Your Husband's Honor as a Muslim Wife
Most Muslim Women Are Careless About Their Primary Obligation to Protect Their Husband's Honor.
Traditionally, occupations such as cooking, sewing, fashion designing and interior decorating were considered the exclusive terrain of women.
One domain, though, still remains predominantly women's-only, and that is home-making. This is because it is woman's innate nature to be the master of her home. As manager, guard and coordinator, she happily does the household chores and caters to her family's needs, while the husband, more often than not the chief breadwinner, remains absent throughout the day at work.
Allah has acknowledged this aspect of the functional family unit, by instructing women to be "guards" of their husband's property and honor in the latter's absence:
"Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to the husband), and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard…"
[Quran - Surah Al-Nisaa: 34]
Guarding "what Allah would have them guard" implies that a Muslim wife should guard:
Guarding her husband's honor would mean not mentioning him, his character, or his deeds to any third person in a derogatory or defaming manner – ever. Although the world generally frowns upon an untidy home in disarray, or a cheating wife flirting with other men, this aspect of a wife's loyalty – her maintaining her husband's honor behind his back – is something even many "good" wives fail to accomplish. Women generally speak well of their husbands to people they are not close to. It's the close relatives and friends, however, who unwittingly cause slips.
"The plumber came, and I had to rush back home to supervise his work, as [my husband] is totally useless; on Saturdays, he lies in bed all day and does absolutely nothing…"
"My husband snores so loudly, it could scare anyone who hears him in the middle of the night."
"He offers to cook, but his dishes turn out horrible, so I'd rather not eat what he makes…"
"He never takes me shopping; he's always involved in his work."
During the gush of such 'girly' conversations, their husbands' potent faults are unintentionally revealed. The listeners/on-lookers chuckle knowingly, nodding their heads in compassionate comprehension. What they enjoy is the pleasure of knowing that this supposedly "happy" and perfect Muslim couple too, have the usual marital differences; that even seemingly "righteous" couples cannot always live in harmony.
And last but not least, it gives them fodder for gossip.
Muslim women should be careful about this matter even with their biological sisters and mothers. At the end of the day, no one wants a woman to come and live with them if she gets divorced or estranged from her husband.
They, however, do enjoy listening to her incessantly complain of the problems in her husband's home: how low the finances are, how untidy her husband is, how much he eats, or how he neglects her rights. They might throw bygone incidents in her face even months after she has moved on and forgotten them, so that she starts brimming with indignation all over again, at their mention.
Muslim women should try not to fall prey to the instigation of such "well-wishing" people, who laugh when she mocks her husband, who relish her marital dissensions, who thrive on getting to know other women's domestic troubles. They are devils in disguise, preying on the tranquility of others' homes, seeking juicy coffee-party gossip. Muslim women should beware of disobeying Allah in this regard.
Remember that in every command of Allah lies a potent hikmah, a hidden wisdom that is beneficial for you. He loves you seventy times more than your well-wishing mother.
Run to Him – in salah [regular Islamic prayer], dua [praying to Him], dhikr [His remembrance by the tongue and heart], and istighfar [seeking His forgiveness for sins] – whenever you have a bone to pick with your husband.
For the solution and the solace after the storm, trust in Allah. If you keep your duty to Him, He will never relinquish you – rather, He will fill your home with unbridled peace, harmony and tranquility.
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